Mmkay, so i haven't posted in, well forever, honestly though, it's just out of laziness =) But today, since there's no school, I thought it might be time to update =)

Sooo, I know you guys don't like when i talk about Matt, but i'm sorry i can't help it. Has anyone else noticed how much happier i've been in the last little while? Maybe it's just me, but i've noticed changes in myself.

So my birthday is most definately on =) god im so fucking excited, um yeah pretty much anyone can come, as long as you let me know you're coming. So we're sleeping in a tent right, so how many people think i won't make it the night? yeah that's right you better watch out, cuz i will, just you wait =)

um, so yeah bout this belly button piercing, that is most definately on as well, hopefully have it done before my birthday, and even more hopeful that i'll be able to change it for my birthday, that was be so cool =) so yeah so far caro and ashley are coming with me, caro out of comfort, and ash out of seeing me get it done, ten dollars to anyone says i pass out, and cry, i'm going with crying though =) god i'm such a baby ha!

i guess that's all this post wasn't as important as i thought it was going to be lol oh well =)

annyyywhooo i'm off to go do stuff, lunch actually =) eating excites me!

love youuus
- sarah (heart)

Okiie, so don't you just love those people who act like they give a fuck about your feelings and what you're thinking, and yet they really don't. But then when it comes to them having problems they expect everybody to listen and help out. This isn't directed at anyone specific, just a general comment.

So yeah, home alone all weekend. Which sucks because I'm like snowed in here with nothing to do = , so it sucks. Hopefully tobagganing with carolyn tomorrow. That should be interesting and fun all in one big happy bundle =). Hopefully it's not too cold out =(.

So, I've finally figured out I'm going to semi formal alone this year. Which meh, nothing I can do. The person I want to ask live to far away, and barely knows I exist anymore =(. Maybe if I had the guts to come right out and ask him I would, but hey it's me we're talking bout, so thats pretty much never going to happen =).

This isn't for a while, but I've decided what im doing for my birthday =) PARTY AT SHERKSTON. Should be lots of fun. Sweet 16. Dunno who I'm inviting yet, got the basic people (caro, kate, ky, kels, ash, court...perhaps lu..we'll see). Anyways I'm so excited for it, and it's not for another good 5 months. Oh man, so far away! Oh well =) it will be here eventually.

So realized the other day how fucking hott matt really is lol o jeez, I'm pathetic I know =) but meh what can you do. And I've tried talking to him a couple of times, and got absolutely nothing out of it. I don't get it, he makes it seem like im the criminal in all this. Like it's all my fault.

-mayybe ii`m n0t 0ver hiim, then agaiin maybe ii d0n`t want t0 be-

But annyyyyywayyyyys, I think I should go do some review for math and français, fun stuff ; )

-Sarah-

thats how i feel....blah..i dunno what im feeling anymore...memories and thoughs about me n matt keep flowing through my head...and it really upsets me...and yet theres nothing i can do about it...i miss him like craziie!..and then theres dustin o man...changed so much...and yet i still like him soooo much....jeez...things like this piss me off..things never go the way i want or hope....that sounded conceited i know...but meh everybody needs a bit of conceited-ness (?) in there life :)...

so today....did nothing all day...kelsey was invited to come over but didnt get up until 3 o clock..and missed my email lol o well =) thats okiie cuz carolyn came to visit me today! haha aww i was so surprised wasnt even gunna answer the door! o man fun times got her hooked on flipwords =P lol o well its a pretty fun game very addicting though o well =)

so im talking to dustin right now...and once again im in the siuation where im talking to a guy i like and he has a girlfriend...so im a bit upset bout that...but once again theres nothing i can do bout that...

so anyways...playing flipwords =P so im out

-Sarah-

o man....lots of stuff to write =) okiie first off i wana apologize to anybody who i offended in my last post..but in my defense this is where i blow off all by steam...i vent out in here....but i hurt some people and i just wanna say im sorry =) okiie sooo christmas was amazing....so many awsum things....christmas eve was another story though...mommy walked out on us that day....was gone all day and only returned when my cousin laura came...how coinsidentul =) (spelling? =S) ...but then john and laura came..and things slowly went back to normal....scared me a lot though...didnt really know what was happening or what was going to happen...but things are just fine now =)...for the time being anyways =) so i realized at the beginning of the xmas break..i miss matt. a lot...i miiss just being able to talk to him...to be his friend. like i was reading the email he sent me when we broke up saying bout how he stil l wants to remain "awsum friends" and yet we dont even talk to each other anymore. and i hate it. ive realized now that there's never going to be anyone who means as much to me as matt will (aside from my friends...they're top =)) and i dunno what to do.....he wont talk to me...and whenever it does, it always seemed like he feels he has to..and i dunno =(...o man...i dunno anymore...i want to move on but every time i try, i cant...he means so much to me even if i mean nothing to him.....urgh i dunno..one of these days ill hopefully get the courage to talk to him again....or maybe not...who knows.... so went shoppping wiif courtney today......it was awsum..havent seen court in a very long time.....so we caught up on a lotta things =)...saw tuns of ppl i knew .....including varley...o man why did he have to get hott again?! =(.....went back to brown hair....instead of blond...which was the reason i got over him...cuz his hair looked dumb blond...but now its brown again...and aww man...=( it pisses me off lol o well ....i guess its just more of a crush..cuz hes gotta girlfriend.. o well life goes on =))

anyways im playing a game...so im off =)

-sarah-

too much going through my mind.

like louise...o man....im really getting tired of her...and im starting to not want to be around jason because of her...which isnt fair cuz he didnt do ne thing at all..just all the shit she says bout him, i dunt even wanna be around him ne more. and the fact that hes madly in love with katie..and yet louise thinks he likes her cracks me up, i mean i feel bad for louise...but on the other hand i cant wait till she finds out....which hopefully is soon considering ill accidently let it slip out and be in major shit wiif jason, and everyone else...cuz shes not supposed to know. but urgh! i friggin cant take it ne more....ive tried being rude and she just doesnt get it!.....like everybody's fed up wiif her and she just doesnt get it....but w/e im tired of her..and if she doesnt stop being sucha conceited person...i swear im going to flip.

on a happi note today was a good dai...plan for tomorrow morning is gunna be fucking amazing...carolyn camera to take pictures! o man cant wait...its mean but the person its happen to is very deserving.  and i mean that in the nicest possible wai =)

this is a while back but the dance was amazing...realized i like david..more than "special buddehs" which screws me over cuz we've been friends for a while now and i dunno how its going to affect our friendship....but i havent talked to him since the dance so i dunno =(

after the dance was fucking hilarious....oh man katie.....dont think ive ever flew so fast =P

anyways gunna go do some homework

-Sarah-

 

o man..pissed off but in very good moood.....how the hell does that work...iuno w/e though.

well dance last nite rocked!...wouldve been more awsum if kate and carolyn could've been there but meh..it was still fun.

dance this wknd....not yet sure who's all going...carolyn sleeping at my house? not sure yet.....i hope so er else i cant go =

today was aite....cept louise...and jason holy shit....if i have to hear one more thing bout him from her..i will kill her literally...i mean shes my friend and all but man how much more does she expect me to take?! like fuck...i mean she likes him..i got that...but i duntcare bout everytime he puts his arm round her....im fucking standing right there! i mean it was cute the first 10 times...and now iuno ....ppl piss me off....

carolyn...still swear to god i should be a guy = holy shit.....i made this assumption when iwas shopping wiif carolyn  =0) that was freakiin awsum.

anyways....just figured out carolyn may not be coming over saturday after all ...hmm...this kinda screws me over.....=S o well ill find someone...anyways...homework time =\....actually gunna do my french tonight =) proud of myself...but yes im out =)

-Sarah-

wow..havent written in soo long...

ok...so friday..we got out at 1 becauase the championship football game (myer vs. simcoe) was that dai..so myer got out at one.

carolyn and i were walking around a lot looking at all the hott guys from simcoe..and our eye was attracted to this one guy...so we kinda monitored him...and finally carolyn got up the courage to go over...luckily his friend has just left him...so she hadda starter conversation...found out his name's josh....and hes really hott.....er at least he was till he started scratching his ass! like omg! he didnt even do it discretely either! he turned around and just did it...so he lost all respect from us and wasnt quite so hot ne more..and then we realized how ugly he really was wiifout his hood on...man....big dissapointment =(...anyways it was an overall awsum dai...cept ithink katie's mad at me =( dont really know why..but meh....it'll be over wiit soon.

so saturday...up at 9 to do chores...so not fun...went to the library to see carolyn..but carolyn was not there...musta been on break er sumthing...=( *tear*  so then went home got readdy andwent to the y.....where there were these 2 guys and they looked sooo familiar but iuno where..pretty hott to...but meh....and these chicks were there...wanted to kill them...there was a dance last nite at the y in st. catherines so all these chicks were there...i dunt think i needa say more than that...all i know is i wanted to kill them...all..but parents came to quickly....so then we went to laura's..saw her house for the first time...its a pretty nice house...and then went over to my parents friends house....stayed there for abit...not to much fun but meh..i was tired so i didnt care..then i came home =)

and today...nothing planned for today....homework..but i dont think imma do that since i wont be there tomorrow or tuesday....but we'll see how bored i get.

ne ways...gtg...get dressed n shower n shit....preferably shower b4 dressing..but you know...w/e

-Sarah-

 

wow...havent written in a long time...when i prolly should have considering it would have helped deal wiif all the anger people put into me..but w/e..i got thru it on my own....been a pretty happi girl lately...not letting people piss me off..cuz then im rude to everybody and that not good...cuz a lot of then didnt even do anything to me..but there are those days....but thats a journal for another daii =)..

well found out today carolyn wishes me dead =P..love you too carolyn!....you think you know somebody and then wham! they wish ya dead...man ..dont i chose the best friends.

realized yesterday bryce only looks good when he gets out of the shower...which doesnt mean what it sounds like.....for all you people out there who are thinking dirrty....it means when when he gets outta the shower...his hair's straight..and it just for some reason looks REALLY hott..holy shit...theres just no werds to describe it...o yes...he also called me sarahlyn....im not sure if he thought it was funni...or if he was looking a carolyn =O (he likes you?!)....and said sarahlyn..either way...bryce has made up a new nickname for me...so thank you bryce.

well.....was supposed to go out for lunch wiif kelsey this week...but that never happened...and i was suposed to go over to her house sometime this week after skewl..but that never happened either....in fact i havent talked to kelsey since the wknd....i dunno..maybe thats a sign we're either not trying hard enough...or it means...why are we trying....its over...im hoping its more the first one..but i dunno...i guess time will tell.

going away this wknd...thats gunna rock! gunna get the girl's x-mas presents while im there...so if ne of you read this b4 friday lemme know what you want =)

ne ways...my eye hurrts so im gunna go compress it wiif warm water...

-sarahlyn : )